family | Silver Fern Ceremonies

Seeing as Boris Johnson is about to contest the Conservative Leadership, perhaps it’s only fitting that his name means “to fight”. He will definitely have a fight on his hands to even win the party leadership but that will pale into insignificance if he becomes Prime Minister and has to attempt to unite both the country and his party as well as negotiating a decent exit from the EU.

I have no idea whether Mr and Mrs Johnson even knew what Boris meant when they named their baby but would it have been important to them if they had? Does it even matter what we are called as long as we’re not called late for dinner?

Genuine, bold and brave?

When Megan and Harry settled on Archie for their baby son, there was a mixed reaction. Even on Facebook I noticed some people protesting that, although it was a decent enough name for a “normal” child, it just wouldn’t do for a member of Royalty. As it happens Archie means genuine, bold or brave so it would be fitting if the new addition to the Mountbatten-Windsor household could live up to that billing. It would be even better if Boris could!

Without stating the obvious, our names are vitally important to us. It is one of the few constants that we have throughout our lives. We answer to that name, we live up to that name. Our name is our brand and our identity and it’s important to us that people remember it and use it properly.

Why did Richard become Dick?

One common annoyance is people assuming that others are happy to have their name shortened or lengthened. When you think about it, it’s the height of rudeness and arrogance to assume that an Alison wants to be called Ally or a Benjamin is happy to be reduced to Ben. Those two short forms might be fairly obvious but have you ever wondered why Richard became Dick or Williams were known as Bill?

It’s a simple case of the age old habit of choosing rhyming words. Richard was short for Rick which rhymed with Dick. William was Will or Willy which became Bill or Billy. I suppose Billy was preferable to Willy but I’m not so sure whether Rick was happy to become Dick.

Equally frustrating is the habit some people have of lengthening your name or deciding to call you by, what they consider, your proper moniker before promptly choosing the wrong option. For the record, I’m a Joanne and not Joanna or Josephine but actually Jo suits me just fine thank you very much.

Don’t call me Fiona

I have a friend who has recently chosen to change her name. She was a Theresa and known by all and sundry (whoever sundry are) as Tess. However, she’s recently converted herself to Claire as she feels that it fits her better. I might have done the same had my mum got her own way and managed to christen me Fiona. I don’t look at all like a Fiona and, even though I didn’t know it at the time, had great cause to be grateful for my dad’s intervention.

The only reason I know what Fionas look like is because of the blonde, petit and feminine Fiona I knew at school. On reflection, I’ve known plenty of fuller figured, frumpy, pinafore-dress wearing Fionas but to me the name will always be synonymous with the first Fiona I ever knew. And that’s where your name becomes your brand. We associate particular names with certain people and then almost judge them accordingly.

Welcome to the House of God

Traditionally the naming of a child was a community led affair where the whole village or tribe turned out to welcome the new addition to their clan. With Christianity came the ritual of christening a child, or welcoming him or her into the house of God.

I can still remember feeling very overwhelmed when some good friends asked me to be a Godmother to their little boy. However, I soon felt rather underwhelmed when what should have been a precious and personal service instead became nothing more than over a dozen babies and thirty or forty associated Godparents being rounded up for a mass christening. I recall a similar situation when my nephew was christened although in his case all six babies baptized that day during the normal Sunday service were called Matthew!

Baby naming ceremonies

In recent years Baby Naming or Welcoming services have gained some popularity for those who are not church goers or who would like a more bespoke service. These services can take place in the venue of your choice and even in your own garden should you have the space and feel confident enough about the weather.

As a qualified civil celebrant, I am able to conduct a totally personal service for you and your child or children. You can choose God Parents or Supporting Adults who might make a pledge or say a few words about their responsibilities. The celebrant would create a script which will reflect your views on parenthood and culminate in the naming of the baby.

A day to treasure

While the traditional definition of a nuclear family still exists there are so many more alternatives these days, but one thing remains constant. The birth of a new child or the arrival of an adopted child into a family, is something to be celebrated and treasured. Why not choose to do this by gathering together those closest to you and honouring their birth and their name with a service that reflects just how important they are?

For more information on Baby Naming and Welcoming Ceremonies please see my website at www.silverfernceremonies.co.uk

What was his name again?

Do you know where they went to school? Or, even before we get to that, do you know the names of their parents? Where they were born and how many brothers and sisters they had? Of course, when we’re in our first few decades things that like are fairly obvious but once people get older even those straightforward facts can be lost to the annuls of time.

Even more important than names and numbers though is what they were like as children. Did they have a quiet, studious family life or was it robust and loud? What did their mum and dad do for a living? Were there any events in their childhood that shaped the adult they was to become?

In my role as a civil celebrant I am continually fascinated by the back stories people have.

The German pilot ruined their coats

The elderly man whose father lost a leg in the War and whose mother had to apply for special permission to work and keep the family. Back in those days, the Government had decreed that married women weren’t allowed to hold down a job as employment was scarce and had to be reserved for the returning soldiers.

Then there was the eighty-odd year old lady who nearly never made it past her sixth birthday. It was 1942 and, terrifyingly, a German fighter plane emptied it’s bullets over her family as they walked back home from a day out in Norwich. Mum pushed the children into a ditch and saved their lives although, apparently, she was far more worried about them damaging the new coats she had recently made them!

We are nowadays privy to an unlimited supply of information about the past. We can look up historical facts and data on our phones and tablets but they are just outlines. It is stories like those that really conjure up pictures and put colour and flesh on the bones of the portraits of the past. And when those stories belong to our loved ones then they become even more real.

How did we live with Brexit?

The point is that we are all living in the past. Some day, in the distant or not-too-distant future, we will have been deemed to have lived “in the olden days”. Future generations will view our lives through the telescope of time and wonder aloud at how we lived with the uncertainty of Brexit; why we allowed people to perish in poverty and what on earth was a landline?

Who do you think you are?

The reason that Who Do You Think You Are is so popular isn’t because anybody thinks that a celebrity sitting in a library with a book is particularly interesting. However, people are fascinated by the stories that their ancestry throws up. Of course, we can’t all be related to royalty like Danny Dyer but that doesn’t matter. There are stories in every family and each individual has their own piece of the past.

Apparently watching the first series of the BBC programme caused 7% of people to start researching their ancestry. You don’t have to develop an obsession with genealogy to keep those stories alive though. All you need to do is talk to each other. Your partner, your parents and grandparents, your aunties and uncles. The stories you uncover might not be ground breaking but they will provide fascinating little insights into the people that surround you.

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Naming your baby